I need a little longer to figure out who I am


At times, I am not sure who I am, what I want to be , and how I want people to see me. That reminds me of the Marketing Psychology Classes at Aston when our Proff with her very heavy but cute Greek accent would explain to us about ‘real self’ and ‘acquired self’.
Anyway, getting back to the topic.. The other day, I was watching the chick-flick (or the politically correct: Rom-Com) ‘Leap Year’. Chick flicks are those feel good movies that I reserve for days I feel exceptionally low and question my very existence. Anyway, there I was watching the movie when a bride comes on the screen and reads out her wedding vows-
May you never steal, lie or cheat.
But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows.
And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life.
And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn’t live a day without you.
A part of me thought this was the cutest thing ever and felt the need to have someone I could say that to while the other part laughed at it for being so cheesy- Okay, you love him, he loves you, cut the crap out and go on with life. While a part of me, wanted to feel that teenage-romance feel and think that all’s good with the world with love around, the other part (very conscious of how people associate these cheesy, romantic and to an extent corny scripts to weaknesses of the womankind) wanted to laugh at it and act all tough.
Unable to decide on which me I want to be, I gave up thinking. Well, what the hell, not like I have to post a review of the movie, so, I can enjoy the privilege of being undecided on this matter.
But it’s more than just that, isn’t it? It’s not about a film review..it’s about knowing what I actually want and accepting myself for what I am.
One of these days, I need to take a stand and say- screw you guys, I think it’s cute!
May be through this post I am doing just that. (This is not how I had planned to end this post, but I will just let my hands type and see where it takes me). May be my friend was right- may be I do behave like a princess in pink waiting for her knight in shining armour. Well, if that’s who I am, I should not have qualms to accept it.
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